Friday, November 11, 2011

Veteran's Day

For most men and women between the ages of 18 to 25, the thought of death or disability seems far fatched. At least it seemed that way in 1963. Most of my friends and myself were innocently enjoying the summer after high school graduation. The growing war in Vietnam seemed remote and the thought of being in the military was not even a thought.

The Selective Service System required men between the ages of 18-25 to register for the draft and most of us complied, still mentally innocent of the growing troubles in Southeast Asia. Then, little by little, one by one, young men weren't around and the news began to spread that "so and so" was drafted by the U.S. Army or "so and so" joined the Marines, Navy, Air Force or Coast Guard. As my friends began to go away to war, I too joined the U.S. Army.

As time pased, the realities of war began to surface. Some of my friends were killed in Vietnam and others were injured, either physically, mentally or both. The war continued to grow and young men and women continued to die.

More than 58,000 men and women died in Vietnam, 303,000 were wounded and 1687 are missing in action. Vietnam brought the reality of life to young people during that area and allows us to appreciate the great sacrifices made by men and women, both past and present who valiantly served America.

Please take the time today to say a prayer for all our soldiers. The price of freedom is very high.

Combat Medic, Specialist 5th Class
James M. Sullivan, Jr.
United States Army Reserve

The News As I See It: The difference between Lindsay Lohan and Rick Perry is that it only takes Lindsay four and a half hours to finish a sentence. You know what you call a Democrat who makes as many verbal gaffes as Rick Perry? Mr. Vice President.

They say Rick Perry had a memory lapse. I can understand that. The other day, I remembered Kris and I remembered Khloe but I completely forgot Kourtney.

Michele Bachmann says she won't rest until Obamacare is repealed or until she kidnaps all 101 Dalmatians.

The stock market plunged over 389 points because of financial news in Italy. They're calling this the worst Italian disaster since Olive Garden introduced that fettuccini alfredo.

After losing a lawsuit with the TSA, former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura says he's going to renounce his U.S. citizenship and move to Mexico. Hey, if he changes his mind, he can always sneak back in.

This week a deer jumped through the window of a taco restaurant in Georgia. Or as Taco Bell put it, "Hey, sometimes the ingredients just deliver themselves."

This Date In History: 1620; The Mayflower Compact was signed by Pilgrims aboard the Mayflower. It would provide the basis for all governments of the American colonies. 1831; Former slave Nat Turner was executed, probably for horse stealing. 1889; Washington became the 42nd state.

1918; The Allies and Germany signed an armistice ending World War I. 1921; The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated in Arlington National Cemetery. 1965; Rhodesia proclaimed its independence from Britain.

1992; The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 2004; Yasir Arafat, chairman of the Palestine Liberation Organization, died in Paris. Mahmoud Abbas was elected to take his place.

Picture Of The Day: Today's pictures need no explanation. God Bless America.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 2) Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one. 3) Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 4) My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. 5) I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.....and that's five !

Today's Birthday Horoscope: Scorpio - November 11th: Take the time to thank a soldier today or say a silent prayer for those who cannot be here.

Birthdays: My pal Tommy - Happy Birthday Buddy! 19XX, Feodor Dostoyevsky, Russian novelist 1821, Maude Adams, actress 1872, George Patton, general 1885, Howard Fast, author 1914, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., science fiction writer 1922, Carlos Fuentes, writer, editor, and diplomat 1928 LaVern Baker, singer 1929, Calista Flockhart, actress 1964, Leonardo DiCaprio, actor 1974.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A captain in the Army was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks. He asked the sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?" The sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, we have the camel."

The captain said, "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me." After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the captain could not stand it anymore, so he told his sergeant, "Bring in the camel." The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captain's quarters.

The captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he asked the sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?" The sergeant replied, "No sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. His father asked, "So, did you jump?"

The young man said, "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!" The father said, "Is that when you jumped?" The young man replied, "Not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." The father said, "Did you jump then?"

The son said, "I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my ass." The father said, "So, did you jump?" The son said, "Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed on to the door and refused to go."

he son continued, "Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, 'Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said, 'No, sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this baby up where the sun doesn't shine.'"

The father asked, "So, did you jump?" The son said, "Well, a little, at first."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A Hawaii woodpecker and a California woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Hawaii woodpecker said Hawaii had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The California woodpecker accepted his challenge, and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.

The California woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a tree in California that was absolutely unpeckable. The Hawaiian woodpecker expressed confidence he could do it, so accepted the challenge. After flying to California, the Hawaii woodpecker successfully pecked the tree with no problem.

So the two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that the Californian woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the Californian tree, but neither one was able to peck the tree in their own state? After much woodpecker-pondering, they both came to the same conclusion - your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.

The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediately.

One afternoon an orderly entered the room and said, "Time to take your temperature, General." After growling at the orderly, the general opened his mouth to accept the thermometer. The orderly said, "Sorry, General, but for this test we need your temperature from the other end." A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed.

The orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly like that and don't move. I'll be back in five minutes to check up on you" and withdrew. An hour later, the head nurse entered the room, saw the general with his bare rear in the air and gasped, "What's going on here?" The general barked, "Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" The nurse said, "Yes I have, General, but never with a daffodil."

A touchy-CNN reporter, while interviewing a Marine sniper asked, "What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?" The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

That's it for today my little apple tarts. Remember, the sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. I'm going to AREA 51 for happy hour. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


garnett109 said...

My dear friend God Bless and thank you for your service!

Rose said...

Great Post.

Well, this "Apple Tart" is pouring a glass of wine and chilling out.

Have a great weekend Jimmy!

Hugs, Rose

jack69 said...

Jimmy, my man, Thanks for your service. Great intro, one of your best.
But about that away from home crap.. shhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Take care my friend.

Paula said...

Thank you for serving our great country.

Heli gunner Tom said...

Only the best, highest IQ'd soldiers made it to Medic school, from what I heard. Welcome Home, Bro! I enjoyed your jokes today, too.

Tom Schuckman
Union Grove, WI 53182
Disabled Vietnam Veteran: 68-70.

Missy said...

I didn't know that you served in the army! (((HUGS))) and a big thank you!!!

Those jokes ... I don't even know what to say ... Hahahahaha