Wednesday, August 1, 2012

If You Need Five Hours Of Energy, Just Go To Bed !

As you may have surmised, I have no patience for rip-off products and my current arguments are with the so-called "energy drinks" and "vitamin water" which have turned into nearly a billion dollar per year industry. Oddly enough, anyone can create their own energy drink company as the main ingredients are massive doses of caffeine and sugar.

On the 5-Hour Energy homepage it says that the drink contains 2000% daily value of B6 and the 8333% of B12. All other ingredients including the amino acids are in amounts considered to be healthy, but what about the amount of B Vitamins?

The 5-Hour Energy website has an explanation for those that are concerned about taking a large dose of Vitamin B that states that the B Vitamins in their supplement; B6, B12, B3, and B9 are water soluble, any amount that is not absorbed is "expelled with no toxic effects."

What they fail to explain is that water, an essential ingredient that is needed to expel unused B Vitamins, should be mega-dosed to offset the mega-dose of B Vitamins in a 5 Hour Energy shot. Contrary to belief, it is possible to overdose on Vitamin B.

Overdosing on Vitamin B happens when intolerable amounts are taken over a long period of time which can result in headache, dizziness, fainting, yellowing of skin, and temporary nerve/brain damage that can last 3 months to 3 years.

Their latest claim is that 73 out of 100 doctors recommend the product. I don't know what country these doctors are from, but I highly doubt the claim. As you know, a lot of people are paid a lot of money to recommend a lot of products. Prostitution at its highest and most effective form.

Because energy drinks are considered dietary supplements, the FDA doesn't require them to list caffeine amounts. If massive doses of unhealthy caffeine and sugar are what you need to keep your life afloat, then have at it. Adding vitamins or anything else does nothing.

The News As I See It: Liberals are protesting Chic-fil-A over the company CEO's opposition to same sex marriage. Liberals are also accusing Chick-fil-a of racism for separating the white meat from the dark meat.

At the London Olympic games, a dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name "Speedo." It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.

China has won the most gold medals, so far. The Chinese athletes can't wait to get home and show the medals off to the kids who made them.

The Olympics are getting mixed reviews. People are angry at NBC for showing a promo that revealed the winner of a swimming event even though the race hadn't aired yet. NBC apologized saying, "We're just not used to people watching our network."

An Australian swimmer who failed to win a gold medal is blaming her loss on social media. In her defense, it is really hard to tweet when you're swimming.

Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.

Olympic officials said Saudi Arabia's first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a headscarf. A Saudi woman said she's thrilled about the ruling. All she needs now is a man to drive her to the Olympics.

Tropical depression Fabio is slowly fading. Wow, they actually named a storm "Fabio." You shouldn't even name your kid "Fabio."That name should not be allowed for tropical storms for the same reason the DMV rejects certain names for license plates.

This Date In History: 1790; The first U.S. census was completed, showing a population of 3,929,214 people. 1876; Colorado became the 38th state in the United States. 1936; Adolf Hitler presided over the opening of the Berlin Olympic Games.

1946; President Truman signed the congressional acts that established the Atomic Energy Commission and the Fulbright Scholarship program. 1981; MTV made its debut at 12:01 AM. The first video shown was Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles.

Picture Of The Day: Some inventions are just downright intelligent. It takes so little effort to insure that your pet always has fresh water.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Sure, blue jeans are comfortable....but forever in them? 2) I'm enjoying watching the Olympic swimming competition and I like to feel like I'm part of the action, so I watch it from my bathtub. 3) In order to fly on an airplane, I must be filled up with Johnny Walker Black at the same time as the airplane is filled with aviation fuel. 4) Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. 5) I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather....not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Leo - August 1st: All your problems cannot be solved by putting them in one basket full of eggs. Tomatoes can be your best friend - go Red for the day. This horoscope is not sponsored by Heinz or the Communist Party. Chance of romance is 61.55 percent.

Birthdays: My friend Shirley - Happy Birthday 19XX, Claudius I. Roman Emperor 10 B.C., Jean Baptiste Lamarck, naturalist 1744, William Clark, explorer 1770, Francis Scott Key, author of The National Anthem 1779, Maria Mitchell, astronomer 1818, Herman Melville, author 1819, Yves Saint Laurent, fashion designer 1936, Jerry Garcia, lead guitar player of The Grateful Dead, musician 1942.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and decided to have a contest regarding who could make the best toast. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night.

John went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife." Mary said, "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!"

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, and I was a bit surprised meself! You know, he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"

On a train from London to Manchester, a man was telling off the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. The man said, "You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. Look at me, I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?" The Englishman said, "Very sporting of your mother."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Last week, as Obama got off the helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and said, "Nice pigs, Sir."

The President replied, "These are not pigs. These are authentic Illinois Porkers. I got one for my wife and I got one for Nancy Pelosi." The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes, and said, "Excellent trade, sir."

Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please." The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on vacation yet, lads?''

John says, "We're off to England next month. We go to England every year, hire a car and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim agrees. The bartender says, "Ah, England. Wonderful country.....the history, the beer, the culture...."

John says, "Nah, we don't like that British crap. Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh, Jim? We can't stand the English. They're arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians."

The bartender asks, "So why keep going to England?" John replies, "It's the only chance that Jim gets to drive....."

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber and said,  "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news. The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked,"Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask. "Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

That's it for today, my little sunflowers. Remember, going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. I'm going to AREA 51 for happy hour. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


Rose said...

Love your Picture of the Day. Great invention to get fresh water for your pets.

I could use some energy as I have been experience chronic fatigue but I would not be stupid enough to buy those energy drinks.

I have a doctor's appt. tomorrow.

jack69 said...

Oh ho, agree with the opinion on the energy drinks and your news angles are the best.
Great read including of course The area 51 bar and Grill, but I wouldn't want to be O'Rielly at the next meeting, he B 'splaining the ear pulling trick.

As a matter of fact I might get.... nah... forget it.

Good night! have a good evening.

Paula said...

Hope you're having fun at Area 51 and a safe trip home so you can keep digging up the good jokes for us.

Julie said...

Rick said he say you on Pogo last night at 4 am. Wow, doesn't he ever sleep he asked? Spoken by the man who was also up at 4 am playing Pogo, LOL. First time Rick took a 5 hour energy he went into A-fib. Hasn't touched the stuff since.

Barb said...

Know what I love about your blog, Jimmy? Everything! I'm serious here. One doesn't have to turn on the radio or television to be informed, get inspired, learn something and have a good laugh; they have but to click on your blog. Loved it first time I stopped by- even more now.
I could use some energy but prefer getting it the natural way, not out of a bottle.
Your picture of the day is great.
take care my friend.